Challenging myself

I have never really challenged myself – I am one of the laziest person I ever met. I live my life, day to day, spending most of my time sitting in bed binge watching netflix, tv or youtube and pretending to be a student going to university three times a week. Yep, that describes my life pretty well. But the older I get, the more I think about life and what I really want from it. Every now and then I feel like I’ve missed so much.

So much?

So much of what?

Right. There is no so much.

Somehow I feel like I don’t really live, I don’t live life to it’s fullest. And that’s not how I want to go on. People say that we only have one life and I experienced by myself that it could be shorter than we all think. I  want to change, find a purpose and truely live my life. If someday I’m going to be asked about my experiences, my life and how I live it, I wanna have an answer that makes me happy. Right now I wouldn’t really know what to say.

I started this blog, I wanna get healthy and be creative again. The first steps I’m taking towards change aren’t that easy to make. In fact, it took me over four years to finally start this blog. As a double-cheese-on-everything-lover getting healthy will be a tricky one, but I wanna try my best. Writing a blog goes with being creative, but I wanna use my hands to create stuff as painting is one of the only things i remember enjoying during my childhood. I am sad that I gave this up and want to invest some time in playing with colours and brushes, even when it’s just on my face.

I don’t know what life is about and where this will lead me, but I know that I am not happy with the way I live. So I challenge myself to make a change.

I challenge myself to finally live.